So I had a terrible junior year. I began with a 3.5 and ended with a 3.0. It's my fault, I know. The stress got to me and I managed to convince myself that I was stupid and shouldn't even try. I kept it in for too long, it didn't really burst out of me until halfway through the year when I was too far behind. The only class I did well in was my music class, which even then was worse than I had done years before. I've been going to a counselor and taking anxiety and depression medication that's been helping but now that college application time is rolling around the stress is piling up.
I hope I don't sound conceited or anything but I'm very confident about my singing and feel pretty good about my acting. (Dancing is getting better) I still have time with my voice teacher to improve but she's very optimistic. (Well I say I'm confident when really I'm constantly trying to be perfect, which is messing me up but what are you gonna do.)
I'm in a show right now (Hodel in Fiddler. I love it!) and it's helping my stress and is helping me improve my skills.
My main problem is grades. Like I said earlier I had some problems but I don't think I was to try to use an excuse. I know it's my own fault. The weird thing is one of my worst classes was English but I love writing and reading. Math and science was awful because those were the classes that stressed me out the most. I would cry for no reason and occasionally have panic attacks because of embarrassment from crying. I've always been sensitive but...it escalated.
I feel most comfortable on stage. I always have. But I'm scared that my junior year ruined my chances of getting into a great program. Not to mention tuition restraints my family has. I'm the youngest of five, two siblings are in college, and I already know I'm not getting anything from FAFSA.
I have a backup school. I worked with the director and he offered me close to a full ride. It's not a bad program but my voice teacher feels I wouldn't be challenged there.
Sorry if this is really long it actually felt kinda good to get some of that out. Thanks
↧